Industry Mums - Kylie Auldist

Broadcaster and mother Jane Gazzo continues her series asking women to describe their triumphs and challenges as working mothers in the Australian music industry.

Kylie Auldist is a singer-songwriter of Australian/Samoan heritage who grew up at the Fowler’s Gap Research Station, 112 kilometers north of Broken Hill in the outback of Australia. She later moved to Hay, NSW where her family still farm on the Murrumbidgee River.

These days she calls the northern suburbs of Melbourne home where she lives with her partner and two boys.

Kylie is perhaps best known as the powerful vocalist in the soulful funk outfits The Bamboos and Cookin’ on 3 Burners. She has also released five solo albums including her most recent, 'This Is What Happiness Looks Like' (2020).

What do you remember about where you grew up?

Doing School of the Air at Fowler’s Gap and then when I was 11, my dad got a job as an agricultural consultant in India and we moved to Hyderabad for a couple of years. I went to an international school there and then to boarding school in South India at Kodaikanal. It was so very different to regional Hay! After we returned from India I went to Hay High and then to boarding school in Melbourne at Luther College as my parents were working in China.

What is your earliest musical memory?

My dad playing guitar and my mum and aunties all singing. Sometimes they would get me out of bed if they couldn’t remember how a song went!

First record you bought?

Disco Dazzlers! It was a compilation album of all the coolest tracks that I still love. The first band album I bought was Midnight Oil’s 10-1. I think the records back then cost about $6 from the local record shop in Hay.

First concert you went to?

My mum drove me and two friends to Griffith to see Pseudo Echo at The Yoogali Club. I had a brand new black and red flannelette shirt and a black skirt with a low-slung belt! So cool!

My mum waited up at the back of the gig and then drove us back to Hay! I don't reckon I would do the same for my kids even now!

How were you raised?

We were always in remote areas so we were allowed a lot of freedom but we were expected to work very hard both on the farm and with school work. We were encouraged to question and not to follow blindly for example, Mum used to say: “You don’t need to respect people just because they’re old! There’s plenty of stupid old people around!” My parents weren’t fans of organised religion but insisted we be educated and across everything. You can’t refute what you don’t understand. We are a very close family of high achievers!

What were your mother’s morals and values?

My mum was a farmer’s wife, who still does the books for the family business that my brothers have now taken over. She has stayed fit and strong all her life and is funny and quick with a retort. Nobody gets away with anything. She is also kind and volunteers in many capacities in our hometown. I would say her morals and values were of the highest order and I try to live up to her standards.

Do you have an example of her displaying this from when you grew up?

Every day of her life is filled with things she does for us and others and I think she probably set a super high standard for my brother’s wives (and me!). She’s so good at everything from running the family farming business, to cooking, gardening, being a wife and mother and making it look easy! She also treats everyone the same.

Was there a time when you and your mother didn’t see eye to eye?

I’m the only daughter so I get the most lectures! When I behaved badly one Christmas, (probably told someone the truth as I saw it), my mum invited me to, ‘Come for a walk to feed the pigs’ so she could have a private word to me about my behaviour and being nicer to people! Now we all joke that if we don’t behave we’ll have to go for a walk to feed the pigs!

What teachings/values/morals from your mother have you taken and/or implemented into your own family?

Both of my parents instilled in us the value of volunteering in the community. We are lucky to host a young Australian-born Sudanese boy, Mabing who lives with us during the week – who hopefully has a future in basketball.

He is part of the Coburg Basketball Academy and goes home to his family in Werribee on the weekends. He gives an insight into others lives and we love having him part of our family.

I have also managed my son’s footy teams and we drive to basketball games near and far to support my sons in their sport and gigs. I always tried to be at school a couple of times a week to help with reading and just generally be visible.

I try to make sure that I am approachable to my sons and that I make time for them and appreciate their efforts in the world. I am on their team.

Happiest family memory?

There’s way too many but I will say that we had a lovely time a few years ago with my mum and dad and my brothers – it was a rare occasion without partners or children! I didn’t realise how rare it was in later life. You take it for granted and before you know it, it’s gone.

We all raided my mum’s ‘gift cupboard’ and the toy box and wrapped up presents for each other. We’ve always given silly presents and it was nice to be all together again getting the same jokes!

When did you know you wanted to work/be part of the music industry?

I guess I always sang so it was a natural progression. When I was about 22 I moved to Fitzroy into a share house next door to the Evelyn Hotel. I got some gigs there and started meeting the music community.

What was your first industry job?

My dad and I played in the pubs in Hay when I was about 15. When I moved to Melbourne I got paid to sing at a wedding and I thought that was pretty special. I had sung at all my friends and family’s weddings for free, so getting paid was quite a novelty!

I also got to sing on Bert Newton’s Good Morning Australia regularly which was fabulous!

Were there any female mentors you felt you could call upon when you started out or did you have to navigate your own path?

In those days, it seemed women tended to be in competition with each other. I’m trying to change that and trying to be a better role model. I’ve done a little bit of mentoring and I have really enjoyed it. The young women I’ve mentored are such go-getters these days and way more inclusive.

Interestingly, my main friend and mentor in my professional career has been my friend Felix Zappone who was my first bass player. He and his wife Hayley were always my city family and helped with my kids. Felix was bridesmaid at my wedding!

Did you always know you wanted children?

I didn’t really think about it. My body kind of decided for me!

Did you worry about how you would make motherhood and the music industry work?

Not really. I just kept doing it. I couldn’t stop singing so I just had to make it work. I didn’t have time to stop and worry.

Was there a time when it fell apart? Or felt like it was?

Being a single mum with my first son was extremely difficult. I couldn’t have gotten through it without the help of my village. I guess there are a lot of times when I’m on tour and can’t be a mum. I have guilt about that. But there are other times when they come with me, get to drink all the backstage lemonade and watch Public Enemy from side of stage! My kids also know that going to sound check is never fun!

What skills have you learnt to deal with every day or occupational challenges which come your way?

Being a mum and running your own business gives you confidence in so many aspects of life. I’m basically a boss!

Since having your children, what has been your proudest moment?

I think travelling overseas to play original music to people and performing with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra have to be up there! Putting out albums and still being somewhat relevant in my 50s is something I’m grateful for as well! Also winning a couple of Music Victoria Awards was very special.

How could the industry be better at supporting caregivers?

The industry could look after artists better so they have more options. I felt during the lockdown that most artists were invisible. It was like we didn’t matter. I’ve signed stupid things that affect my long-term income because I couldn’t afford a lawyer and spent most of my gig money on babysitters. I guess we need to support each other, not allow the industry to pit us against each other for meagre crumbs. I stopped reading music industry news because I couldn’t stand seeing how much money was being made by so few.

How do you balance your time with kids/partner and family?

I try to remember to leave spaces in my diary and make sure I write everything down so I don’t double book myself. Singing is mainly at night and on weekends I get to spend days at home. I’m very much a home body. Everyone needs to give me plenty of warnings and reminders about things they want me to attend!

What do you do to take time out for yourself?

I go to an exercise group most mornings which is outdoors. I have lunch with friends a couple of times a month and I love cooking for the family and gardening.

What was the hardest part of lockdown?

Missing my mum and my brothers and their families. Not singing loud and having music going through my body.

Best piece of advice given to you?

Don’t have expectations and then you can’t be disappointed.

Words or motto you live by?

My dad said: “If life gets too tough and you think you can’t keep going, just remember you can get used to anything!”

Visit Kylie Auldist for further information including upcoming performance dates →

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jane Gazzo
Jane Gazzo is a broadcaster, TV presenter, music journalist and published author who began her career in radio, aged 16. Since then, she has presented nationally on Triple M and Triple J as well as BBC Radio 6 in the UK and has hosted television shows such as Recovery on ABC TV. She spent eight years as a presenter on Foxtel's Channel V, where she reported from music festivals, red carpet events and hosted live TV shows, interviewing some of the biggest and best names in the music world.

In 2018 Jane became Chair of the Australian Music Vault Advisory Group and in 2020 she hosted ABC-TV's flagship music show THE SOUND and co-founded the popular Facebook site Sound As Ever (Australia Indie 90-99).